Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Top Secrets to Catch Attention Quickly Using Online Dating Sites

Your profile pictures are critical to catch attention. People are very visually orientated. The very first things people check out are the profile photos. If they are attractive, people will read what you have to say. If not, they will go on to the next profile. 

They spend only a very few seconds before they make a decision to stay or move on to the next profile.Your picture must be attractive and recent. If your hair cut or style has changed consider a new picture. The main complaint and turn-off is that people look nothing like their pictures or they look much older than their picture. They will take that as a breach of trust and wonder what else they would be untruthful about. You have lost their trust and it’s all over. This is something you have complete control over. It is simple and can be handled so that it works in your favor without a lot of time or expense.

They want to see a picture of your smiling face and a nice, appropriately clothed full body shot. This has been compiled from interviewing dozens of men and women. Just imagine that a person is shifting through many profiles and if they don’t see a full body shot they will think the worst. They often won’t take the chance of spending time or money on a date they think they might regret. They hate surprises and won’t give the person a second chance. Take steps to stop them in them in their tracks when they see your pictures.

Take a number of pictures of yourself or have a friend take several shots of your face and clothed full body. Do not, and I repeat, do not post pictures of yourself that are not in focus or that don’t show you at your best. Sort through your head shots and be very particular to choose one that looks friendly with a nice smile in your eyes as well as on your lips. A very slight forty-five degree angle shot is nice rather than a full-on face shot. It is more slimming and creates a friendlier image. For women a slight tilt of your head adds a nice flirty touch that catches a guy’s eye.

Women should wear more make up than you normally wear. The reason for this is the flash and the lighting in the room will wash you out making you look paler and less defined. Take a number of shots and select one that is the most flattering to you. Make certain you are expressing yourself with your eyes in the picture. Look interested in them in a friendly, flirty manner. Think of a joke or something pleasurable when you are having your pictures taken. Keep that glint or smile in your eyes as well as on your lips. People love to see a smile and they want a person who they think will be adding an uplifting air to their lives.

Talk Directly to them in your Profile

The very first words you write are vitally important. You can say something like…”Hey, I totally understand how difficult it is to find a great person online”…etc. Look at it from their perspective. Because no one else is doing that, it will make you stand out. Remember they have no patience when he they are searching thru profiles because they do not know you and they are going thru very quickly. They spend only a few seconds on each profile and even less on the ones that turn them off immediately and they certainly won’t read a long, negative, uninteresting profile. They will just go on to the next one and in a flash you have lost your chance with that person. You have got to get their attention and keep it long enough to engage their mind and thoughts to make them want to meet you and spend time with you.

Write as if you are sitting across the table from that person. Like you are talking and having fun with a good friend. Don’t sound like a textbook or make lists of your attributes. A no-fail technique is reading it aloud as if you are talking to that person. This will immediately show you where you need to make some changes. Always use your spell check and have someone else read it before you post it. Another person may catch something that may turn people off. Your photo and your profile is your hook to get their attention to start a conversation.

Make your profile fairly short and fill it with word pictures to help them understand what you are really like. You might say that you enjoy volunteering at a local charity so they can get an idea of what you do that showcases your good qualities. Listing words like kind, gentle, honest, etc. is a real turn-off. They know anyone can say those things. But if you describe what you actually do that shows you are that way, then they will believe and trust you more. Many are not honest in their profiles. Make sure you are not one of them.

When the person sees you for the first time, they will know right away if you put up a current picture of yourself. And make sure that the way you behave when you meet them is the way you portrayed yourself in your profile. Never put on airs or try to say you are something you are not because you will be found out and it will be over! This is not a place for second chances.

Be Upbeat and Positive

A person’s worst fear is that they might be tied down with someone who makes their lives less interesting and fun. They don’t want someone they have to entertain all the time, even for one evening, let alone a lifetime!  When you meet for the very first time, make sure you have a pleasant look on your face. The look you want is the look you have just before you are about to smile. Check out the striking difference in a mirror between that and a serious look.

Practice this attractive approachable look with a lively glint in your eye.  This is so much more attractive than a plain “just there” look, or worse, a serious, distracted look. Now that you have the real inside scoop, you can avoid these mistakes. You can be well on your way to finding the soul mate of your dreams!

By Betty L Nelson

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