Dating Online: Tips for Handling Local Contacts

By: Lorii Abela

Most dating online tips center around security and safety measures on the first meeting. However, there are generally signs that the relationship may not be going in the right direction well before that happens. Don’t worry when that happens – finding a soulmate might just mean going through a heap of coal before you discover a diamond.

Dating Online: Tips for the Girl/Guy Next Door

Tip Number One: If they don’t want to meet, it might mean they’re hiding something, and that’s seldom a sign of a good start. Or it could mean that they’re not trustful enough of you. Or it might simply be that they have families, and therefore, weekend commitments. If a guy is reluctant to meet, that might well be the case.

The tip is: Watch for Signs of Reluctance to Meet

Tip Number Two: If you can’t see a photo of them on the internet (an actual one, mind you – not an avatar) then they’re either too cheap to spend $10 on a decent digital photo of themselves or – again – they may have something to hide.

The tip is: Make a Decent Photo Your Benchmark

Tip Number Three: Trust, but verify – Part of Lenin’s ideology but adapted by President Ronald Reagan during his term. It would serve well to make note of this. Prior to a first date, make sure you aren't caught unaware. Never let your contact pick you up if you can get there yourself;  tell someone where you’ll be and for how long.  Don’t dress provocatively; stay sober; and watch your drink! But despite these warnings, you must tune in to the right signs when you’re in the process of finding a soulmate: you can’t be too cautious and miss out on real possibilities. The law of attraction for love doesn't work well with suspicion as the basis of a relationship.

The tip is: Trust, but Verify

The third tip is probably the most important tip of all because it covers so many areas. You need to review their ‘stories’ to see if there are contradictions, perhaps take notes so you don’t get things mixed up; you want to check about kids, especially if they’re reluctant to accept a video call and you can clearly hear a “daddy” in the background – and don’t be fooled by the old “oh, I’m just their uncle” trick. Even Christian dating sites aren't free of people pretending to be something they’re not. The idea is not to scare you, but prepare you.