A quote attributed to the great George Carlin states that “Men are all stupid and Women are all crazy. And the reason women are all crazy is because men are all stupid”
I’d like to add a few words to this sage verbiage: “And when the few men who are not stupid run into the women who the stupid men have turned crazy, those men in turn suddenly become stupid.”
It’s a defense mechanism and we, as men have learned to use it effectively.
Y’see ladies, men occasionally become overwhelmed with the mixed signals that society thrusts on them “be strong, be a man, be a leader, be tough, aggressive in business, provide for your family, fight the fight, be a protector, be successful” and other badges we must wear, while we also hear “be gentle, be kind, be attentive, warm, caring, affectionate, emotionally available, empathic, know what she wants before she asks, be a great father/son/brother/friend, be sensitive to her needs” and so many more. And yes, this does drive us crazy!
Speaking personally as a man raised mostly by women (mother, grandmother, aunts) I developed many of the latter qualities, and less of the former. It took me many years, many failures, and lots of time spent with strong, masculine men to “find my balls and my voice.”
You see I never needed to find my balls before because there was always a willing woman in my life to locate them for me. I was effeminized as are so many men in today’s society and needed to find my own answers. I can tell you that it was a very painful road but the benefits of becoming a man amongst men, a leader of men, and a “go to guy” has changed the type of woman I attract.
You may not realize it ladies, but you are stronger than us. You are more outgoing than us. You have more drive, more “stick-toitiveness” and you may be smarter than us. We are, as men, and at the end of the day - all little boys searching for the little girl who just wants to come out and play nice with us.
When we are sick we just want someone sweet to take care of us. Make me chicken soup (organic, of course) and I will develop a very soft place in my heart for you and brag about you endlessly to friends and family.
When we are blue we need a soft shoulder to cry on (even when we say we don’t). We don’t always know what we need so we need you to be smart enough to feel, to read between the lines, and to be our Amazon when we fall.
When we are tired from working ridiculous hours we just want a pretty face and a warm, gentle touch to rub our long-day out of our back and shoulders.
When we come up with an idea we expect you to get excited about it and support us fully. If you didn’t know (and listen closely here) there is nothing that will crush a man’s spirit faster that lack of support from his woman, or worse, a woman who makes fun of his ideas, especially in front of others.
Allow us to make fools of ourselves (we do it so well) but allow us to fail and feel the pain of that failure knowing that we tried. And BE the woman who is there at the end, still supporting a man who stepped out of his comfort zone and had the balls to be something different and try something few thought would succeed. And when we do succeed and you are the woman who supported us though the crap, a good man will hold onto you for the rest of his life.
If he does not, then he was never a good man to begin with and you are well rid of him.
Sometimes we need to “go to our cave” which is a place that you MUST NOT FOLLOW! Our cave is where we go to de-stress, wind down (possibly from the argument you just had with us after asking us to take out the garbage for the twelfth time today) and blow off the aggressive man-steam so that we can now have a human discussion with you without balling up our fists and scaring you to death. A smart man knows to walk away when he is angry and if you follow him, screaming, yelling, and egging him on to further rage, well, that’s why many jail cells are full. Do NOT do it ladies!
I am aware that the last statement may upset some of you. Tough noogies. Ignore it and you could very well be the next victim of domestic violence.
I have so much more to share on this subject, including how divorce can rip away a man's pride completely, but I'll touch on that in detail in part two.
Frankly I could continue this blog for twenty more pages; however I would prefer to hear your questions and listen to your comments before continuing. I'd particularly like to hear what drives you crazy (no pun intended) about men in your life so that I can better address this wonderful subject!
This could get interesting!
David “Spike” Osterczy