A quote attributed to the great George Carlin states that “Men
are all stupid and Women are all crazy. And the reason women are all crazy is
because men are all stupid”
I’d like to add a few words to this sage verbiage: “And when
the few men who are not stupid run into the women who the stupid men have
turned crazy, those men in turn suddenly become stupid.”
It’s a defense mechanism and we, as men have learned to use
it effectively.
Y’see ladies, men occasionally become overwhelmed with the
mixed signals that society thrusts on them “be strong, be a man, be a leader, be
tough, aggressive in business, provide for your family, fight the fight, be a
protector, be successful” and other badges we must wear, while we also hear “be
gentle, be kind, be attentive, warm, caring, affectionate, emotionally
available, empathic, know what she wants before she asks, be a great
father/son/brother/friend, be sensitive to her needs” and so many more. And
yes, this does drive us crazy!
Speaking personally as a man raised mostly by women (mother,
grandmother, aunts) I developed many of the latter qualities, and less of the
former. It took me many years, many failures, and lots of time spent with
strong, masculine men to “find my balls and my voice.”
You see I never needed to find my balls before because there
was always a willing woman in my life to locate them for me. I was effeminized
as are so many men in today’s society and needed to find my own answers. I can
tell you that it was a very painful road but the benefits of becoming a man
amongst men, a leader of men, and a “go to guy” has changed the type of woman I
attract.
You may not realize it ladies, but you are stronger than us.
You are more outgoing than us. You have more drive, more “stick-toitiveness”
and you may be smarter than us. We are, as men, and at the end of the day - all
little boys searching for the little girl who just wants to come out and play
nice with us.
When we are sick we just want someone sweet to take care of
us. Make me chicken soup (organic, of course) and I will develop a very soft
place in my heart for you and brag about you endlessly to friends and family.
When we are blue we need a soft shoulder to cry on (even
when we say we don’t). We don’t always know what we need so we need you to be
smart enough to feel, to read between the lines, and to be our Amazon when we
fall.
When we are tired from working ridiculous hours we just want
a pretty face and a warm, gentle touch to rub our long-day out of our back and
shoulders.
When we come up with an idea we expect you to get excited
about it and support us fully. If you didn’t know (and listen closely here)
there is nothing that will crush a man’s spirit faster that lack of support
from his woman, or worse, a woman who makes fun of his ideas, especially in
front of others.
Allow us to make fools of ourselves (we do it so well) but
allow us to fail and feel the pain of that failure knowing that we tried. And
BE the woman who is there at the end, still supporting a man who stepped out of
his comfort zone and had the balls to be something different and try something
few thought would succeed. And when we do succeed and you are the woman who
supported us though the crap, a good man will hold onto you for the rest of his
life.
If he does not, then he was never a good man to begin with
and you are well rid of him.
Sometimes we need to “go
to our cave” which is a place that you MUST
NOT FOLLOW! Our cave is where we go to de-stress, wind down (possibly from
the argument you just had with us after asking us to take out the garbage for
the twelfth time today) and blow off the aggressive man-steam so that we can
now have a human discussion with you without balling up our fists and scaring
you to death. A smart man knows to walk away when he is angry and if you follow
him, screaming, yelling, and egging him on to further rage, well, that’s why
many jail cells are full. Do NOT do it ladies!
I am aware that the last statement may upset some of you.
Tough noogies. Ignore it and you could very well be the next victim of domestic
violence.
I have so much more to share on this subject, including how
divorce can rip away a man's pride completely, but I'll touch on that in detail
in part two.
Frankly I could continue this blog for twenty more pages;
however I would prefer to hear your questions and listen to your comments before
continuing. I'd particularly like to hear what drives you crazy (no pun intended)
about men in your life so that I can better address this wonderful subject!
This could get interesting!
David “Spike” Osterczy
http://DemistyfiedDating.com
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